concert review1 886 words

+1 vote
Posted Jul 30, 2015 in Student Essay by nerozhang

编辑留言:

  • 本任务文档共886单词,共修改304处,修改率达到34.3%。
  • 大量中式英语错误被修改,目前完成文档免费查看,请下载学习。

First, let me briefly introduce the composers,  Ludwig van Beethoven(1770-1827) was the greatest German composer in the classical period, he was born in Bonn, Germany, the civilian family. Beethoven learned music from his father when he was young and showed his early music talent. He went to Vienna in 1792 for further study and he grew up very fast. Most of his works were getting influenced by 18th centry enlightenment. Therefore, his works had distinct personality. In the music performance, he almost involved all of the music genre, especially he improved the performance of the piano. Beethoven has extremely important position in the music history, he is not only the master of classic music, but also pioneer of the romantic style. His whole life is rough, as a musician, he lost the most important part, hearing. He fights to the fate with his music, finally, he played a significant role in the music
world and he left nine symphonies as a precious heritage for the human.
Joseph Haydn(1732-1809) was born in a poor family, his father was a cartwright and his mother was a  chef, they both love music and that made ...

Offer Price - 886 PCoins ( USD 8.86 / CNY 62.19 )
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3 Bids

+1 vote
Bid Jul 30, 2015 by aten
Selected Jul 31, 2015 by nerozhang
 
Bid Selected

Sorry, despite my effort, SA will not allow me to stay true to my 500p promise because of a new bidding policy that was just released. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I hope you will still accept my bid. I know I can deliver quality work for you.

Proposed Price (PCoins) - 886 PCoins ( USD 8.86 / CNY 62.19 )
Promised Time - 6 hours
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commented Jul 31, 2015 by aten
Edited Jul 31, 2015 by aten
I've uploaded your finished document. I made a lot of changes in sentence structure, mostly shortening and rearranging sentences to create a nice easy flow for reading.
And I changed "Bb" and "Eb" to "B flat" and "E flat" (I assume that is the symbol you were trying to use). I think in formal writing it's better to write out the word rather than use the symbol.

I also took the liberty of correcting a few content errors. For example, Karl Von Morzin was a count (not a duke) and Quartets have movements (not moments).

And I must say, your description of Quartet in B flat, Op.33, no.1 is fantastic! Very good use of imagery. I enjoyed reading this. Now I want to go walking in the forest listening to the birds, haha. :)

Let me know if you have any questions about any of the changes I've made.

Thanks!
commented Aug 7, 2015 by nerozhang
Hello, Aten! I just upload my second concert review, do you want to revise this one for me? I will bid you once you confirm it.
commented Aug 7, 2015 by aten
Thanks! I've placed my bid for your second review. I'd be happy to proofread it for you.
0 votes
Bid Jul 31, 2015 by The Writing Doctor

Hello again!

As I mentioned when you last posted the task, I found mistakes in sentence structure and parts of speech. I can help fix the errors so you have an outstanding final draft.

If you're interested in me proofreading your work, please go ahead and accept my bid.

Thank you. :)

Proposed Price (PCoins) - 886 PCoins ( USD 8.86 / CNY 62.19 )
Promised Time - 4 hours
0 votes
Bid Jul 31, 2015 by nerdalicious

Hi Nero,
Your piece has some great facts but it lacks the sentence structure, overall structure and is a bit verbose. I would work with it to make it appear more like an essay while fixing up grammatical and spelling errors.

Proposed Price (PCoins) - 886 PCoins ( USD 8.86 / CNY 62.19 )
Promised Time - 7 hours
commented Jul 31, 2015 by sa
pls read the new bidding policy sent yesterday and don't bid lower than system price (1 pcoin/word). please change the price accordingly, thanks!

p.s: i changed for you to the system price, if you want to bid higher, it is up to you, thanks!

-sa
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