Personal Statment for Applying High School 405 words

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Posted Apr 19, 2016 in Personal Statement by 大汉风华
I love my family, which gives me a lot. My father is the general manager in his company and my mother helps him to manage the company. My sister also started her career. As the youngest son, I received the most care and love from all of them.

My father is my idol who influenced me the most. Although not a super hero, he gives our family rich and happy life. He served in his company as a basic staff at beginning, but now is the general manager. He was promoted step by step because of his achievement. He taught me his creed - keep steady steps forward and never give up. I can’t agree with him more because it is very useful in my study. I can comprehend the knowledge deeper under this creed.

When my father told me he will support me to study in USA, I feel so glad. USA is a wonderful country - Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, Yellow Stone, Rocky Mountain, Disney Park and Hollywood - all of the nature and human landscape floated in my mind. As the most powerful country in the world, USA is laying the foundation ...
Offer Price - 500 PCoins ( USD 5 / CNY 35.1 )
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Bid Apr 19, 2016 by aten
Selected Apr 19, 2016 by 大汉风华
 
Bid Selected

Hello!

I would be happy to proofread this for you. I can tell your understanding of the language is strong so your writing just needs a few minor tweaks; for example:

"When my father told me he will support me in my decision to study in the USA, I felt so glad. USA is a wonderful country - the Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, Yellow Stone, the Rocky Mountains, Disney Park and Hollywood - all of these natural and human-made landscapes floated to mind."

Thanks!!

Amy

Proposed Price (PCoins) - 500 PCoins ( USD 5 / CNY 35.1 )
Promised Time - 18 hours
Task Owner Review - Amy 很出色的完成了这个任务,不仅改好了文章,还让我看到了为什么要这么改
Task Owner Rating -
commented Apr 19, 2016 by 大汉风华
Hello Amy,

Thanks lot for your correct. I hope you can finish it as soon as possible.
commented Apr 19, 2016 by aten
Hello!  I've uploaded the finished work.  I did my best to get this to you as soon as possible.

I've made some comments to explain some of the changes I've made, but if you have any questions or want anything changed or re-worked I will be happy to help.

Thanks!
Amy
commented Apr 19, 2016 by 大汉风华
Thank you so much Amy. It's realy I need.
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